Do you ever feel like your life is being taped? Like it is all a really bad joke that someone is playing on you? This week feels that way to me. It feels like the world is out to get me and my reactions to each gut-punch are being taped for future blackmail.
I've tried to stay calm through the repetitive jabs but today I hit a breaking point. This point came when I had to sit across from my boss at a boardroom table for 8 hours while she giggled at texts she was receiving from the man I have had my eyes on for months. As if that wasn't enough torture, I had to then go to dinner with her and listen to her go on and on about how sweet he is and how great their "connection" is. UUGGHH!! I wanted to throw up on her. She kept looking at me and asking if I was okay - she said I seemed a little "off". Well, YES, I am OFF! You are fucking the guy that was supposed to be fucking ME!
If this is a test, I am determined to pass it. And to do so, I can't go to work tomorrow. If I did, I would fail. And fail hard.
I was trying really hard to be happy for them. But then I decided, fuck it. As my therapist would say, I need to honor my authentic feelings. So instead of being happy for them, I am going to kill them.
