Tuesday, February 28, 2012

The New World of Dating...

I was laying in bed last night while my body tried to sort out the Excedrin, Advil, Tylenol and NyQuil I had given it and I started to wonder why so many people are funnier via text and social media than they are in real life.
I figured it out. It's because I am funny. So when I read things I make them sound funny whereas the dumbass who wrote it just meant it verbatim.

This got me thinking about men who are sweet via text. They're not sweet. I'm sweet, so I make things they say sweet in my head!  This means that all those sweet, funny men out there who are texting you sweet-nothings throughout the day are truly just as lame as the rest of the ass holes you've already dated.

You know who is as great as she claims to be? My dog. What you see is what you get. Just the way I like it. No games no lies no sneaking around no texting! She loves me for me and I love her the same right back. She's home when I get home and she goes to bed when I go to bed.  She loves me the same way and the same amount each and every day. God bless her.

Until I find a man that is as easy to love as my dog, I see no reason to date.

Plus, she doesn't snore.

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Back to Black.

Life is easier when I dress in black and hate the world. I'm going to go back to that. Good feelings only lead to bad feelings and sick feelings and mad feelings. Fuck good feelings. If I ever go back to thinking good feelings are a good idea, someone out there PLEASE REMIND ME that it's a bad BAD idea! Remind me that it's not worth it and it'll only make the bad worse. And it all goes back to bad anyway. So don't bother with the good. It's not worth it. Stick with black. It'll always be there for you.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

When Life Hands You Lemons...


Make a John Daly!


And then move on with your day. 

My super exciting plans for this holiday weekend quickly came to a halt when I realized that I had purchased tickets for the wrong day.  It took me about 4 hours to accept that being blond isn't always a blessing and that I was going to have to take the good with the bad. 

Knowing I had three days off ahead of me my initial plan was to score some weed, watch bad movies and generally feel sorry for myself for the next 72 hours.  Junk food, tissues, sweatpants... had it all planned out.  But then my friends stepped in, as the always do (damn you) and we went to dinner on Friday night, at my favorite place, of course.  This was enough to lift my spirits and changed the tone of the weekend.  That night I decided that the next 72 hours could only go one of two ways... I could either choose to be Couch-potato-stoner-girl or Uber-productive-self-improvement-girl.   By some unforeseen miracle, I chose the latter. 

So, here I am doing homework, cleaning house, taking dogs for daily runs, and starting new crafty projects.  Who knew I had it in me?



One of my favorite people on the planet and I are making a quilt together - though we are 2000 miles apart.  It's from the Craftsy Block of the Month.  We have a little catching up to do....  But today I made January and it was totally fun.


So, with John Daly in hand, I am toughing out this bump in the road and trudging onward!  

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Monday, February 6, 2012

Is Honesty Really the Best Policy?

So, Dude thinks things are going to work out between he and his girlfriend.

It is one of the most miscommunicated relationships I have ever had the detriment of witnessing.  It seems like they are in two totally different relationships.  Of course I think it is a huge mistake to stay with her because I have been where he is and it doesn't end well.  But it took me years to see it, so, who am I to judge? 

I knew this was a possibility the whole time but I really thought it was going to work out in my favor.   It's funny though because I don't feel rejected (like I would have expected).  I feel like I get where he is at and feel bad that he is there.  He is turning down this sweet little piece of ass for someone who isn't really that into him but he can't see it because he is so into her.  And I have been there, so I get it. 

Still fucking blows for me.  But I don't want to be with someone who is in love with someone else anyway.  So, what the hell was I thinking?  I'm sad and angry.  I knew he was in this relationship; he was honest with me the whole time.  But he lead me to believe that he truly wanted to explore things with me.  And if he really did, wouldn't we be doing that?  How can you be in a committed, loving relationship and still have a wandering heart?  I don't think you can.  I never have, anyway.

As one of my brilliant friends said, "The bottom line is you deserve uncompromising love and you are going to get it."  Maybe it won't be from him even though I want it to be.  Maybe it won't be tomorrow.  But it'll happen.  It will. 

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

The Day I Decided to Lose 30 Pounds


Something clicked when I was talking with my nutritionist today.  I don’t know what it was but she made me feel like it is possible to lose the weight that I so badly want off of my bones.  She gave me a completely reasonable plan to accomplish my goal of 30 pounds by June 1st. 

This is my goal for 3 reasons:
  1. My brother is getting married in June and those pictures are going to be around for a looooong time.
  2. I need more energy to get through this whole Grad School thing...  I seem to need A LOT of caffeine to get any work done at all.
  3. Having sex with this new man is going to be WAY MORE FUN if I am comfortable in my own skin. 
Seems reasonable enough, yes? 

Likely I am going to have days of grumpy, hungry, tired, cranky fatness and this is where I will bitch about it.  So, consider yourself warned.

GO ME.