World Turned Upside Down

Have you ever had a connection so strong that you are drawn to someone in a way you have never experienced before?  The closer we get to one another the more I doubt that I have ever truly loved anyone prior.  He brings me a sense of peace, calmness and joy that is truly delightful.  The security our friendship gives me makes me all that much more aware of the beauty in this world.  I have a natural affinity to this person that I can not deny and I have been wondering if this is what people call soul mates... 

Love

Love is a funny thing.  It comes in all shapes and sizes... at all different times... from all different directions.  Sometimes it comes from obligation.  Sometimes it comes from empathy.  But I am finding, when it comes from a place without condition, it can be one of the most amazing things one can experience.  To feel loved for doing nothing other than being myself is the most amazing thing in the world.

I do have a handful of amazing friends who have always loved me this way and I have loved and appreciated them every day of our friendship.  But now I am in the beginning stages of receiving this kind of love from a man and it feels vastly different from any other relationship I have ever been in.  I keep waiting for the judging to start or the snide comments to begin... but they aren't... and I don't think they will... and it's the weirdest (and most wonderful) thing to be able to be mad or sad or sick or hyper or tired or crazy and still.. feel.. loved!  Who knew?!

And the best part is... I don't feel like it's going away any time soon.  I remember feeling in previous relationships that they were always nearing the end.  Yes, we thought we were madly in love and we did have wonderful times together but really... we all know when something is off.  It's just a matter of admitting it to yourself and believing that you deserve more.  That's the key - the believing.  

It has taken a looooong time and a lot of work but I finally believe that I deserve more.  I deserve to receive love the way that I want to give love....wholly and with reckless abandon.  Okay, maybe not reckless, but you know what I mean... 

So, wish me luck in this new venture!  xoxo

Third time's a charm!

Have you even been asked if you were pregnant when you weren't?  Yes?  How many times? Once, twice?  Well, I've got you beat!  THREE TIMES! 

The first time was years ago and I was wearing a baby-doll shirt.  Ok, I'll let that one slide. 

The next one was just because I am plaid, old fat. 

And today? Today was, well, because now not only is my mid section fat, but I must have the "Hi, I'm pregnant round face" because the woman couldn't even see my body!!!

I've had the (smiling and rubbing her belly) "So, is it official?".  And now the, "Are you all ready for the baby?" AND - all three times I was asked by WOMEN!

HELLO LADIES! This is in Chapter Fucking One of your "Things to Never Ask" Handbook!! 

As my bestie would say, Oh. Em. Gee.