I haven't written anything in quite a while because there's really not much to write about... Things are okay.  Yes, just okay.  Not terrible but not great.  Things with the man went down the shiter.  The new job is everything I wanted it to be and drama-free.  I haven't lost the 30 pounds I wanted to, I think I've lost about 8.  I still hate getting out of bed everyday and have no motivation to do anything after work.  My life is pretty mundane, pretty... okay.  Anyway, just thought I would say hi, in case you were wondering where I have been.  I'll try to come back more often with something whitty, or at least entertaining.  'Til then....

Random Rants and Raves

1.  Red Velvet cake always looks better than it tastes.
2. Toms are ugly.  Trendy girls only wear them because they are trendy.  I am no fashonista, but I know fugly when I see it, and Toms are fugly.  Although, if I were a trend-follower without my own identity or soul, I would be psyched when something comfortable finally became trendy also... so go for it girls, Tom away.  And if you say you bought them because they send a pair of shoes to the poor every time you buy them, that's bullshit, remember, you have no soul.  You probably think being charitable is trendy too.   
3.  I kept waking up last night with my brow squished up and my fists tightened.  What's up with that?
4.   I hate Times New Roman and Courier. 
5.  Making bread at 6,000 feet is really, really hard.  I don't know if it is me or my bread maker, but one of us needs to go.
 6.  I hate that time at the end of your period when you don't really need to wear a tampon but you kinda do... so annoying. 
7.  Why do people throw the word 'love' around?  There is nothing worse than when someone ends a conversation with a "love you" and you either have an awkward silence or you stutter and say "ugh, uh, um, thanks!" 
8.  Why, why, why!!! does my tongue love the salty/sweet combination SO much?!?! Life would be so much easier without taste buds.
9.  Disclaimer:  I have never stolen anything in my life.  (Well, I have walked out with a thing or two I didn't realize I was holding and then walked faster out of shock and fear...) Anyway, I hate when I am browsing a bookstore or a trinket shop and I feel like I am being watched.  I get a guilty feeling and feel the need to ask for help looking for something that I wasn't even looking for!  What's that all about?
10.  The people at my favorite sandwich shop know me by name and I love that. 

From Blue to Green

I made a little Kidney Cocktail for myself.  I juiced cucumbers, celery, lemon and parsley to help kick this kidney infection.  I am tired of feeling blue.. so I decided to feel green. 

Is it fair to change your opinion of someone after learning about their past?  I am going back and forth on this one.  I am not a very judgemental person; I generally take 'em as I see 'em.  But I recently found out some things about a co-worker and for some reason I am looking at her differently now.  It's weird.  I thought she was the goodie-goodie, trustworthy, church-going type... but turns out that's only because her current man is a preacher.  I have never liked the kind of girls who change everything about themselves for every man they are sleeping with... and so it is weird for me to find out that she is that girl.  I mean, do you think the punk rockers that I have dated liked that I was into quilting? In case you're confused.. no, they didn't. 

So, what do you think?  Is it fair?

The New World of Dating...

I was laying in bed last night while my body tried to sort out the Excedrin, Advil, Tylenol and NyQuil I had given it and I started to wonder why so many people are funnier via text and social media than they are in real life.
I figured it out. It's because I am funny. So when I read things I make them sound funny whereas the dumbass who wrote it just meant it verbatim.

This got me thinking about men who are sweet via text. They're not sweet. I'm sweet, so I make things they say sweet in my head!  This means that all those sweet, funny men out there who are texting you sweet-nothings throughout the day are truly just as lame as the rest of the ass holes you've already dated.

You know who is as great as she claims to be? My dog. What you see is what you get. Just the way I like it. No games no lies no sneaking around no texting! She loves me for me and I love her the same right back. She's home when I get home and she goes to bed when I go to bed.  She loves me the same way and the same amount each and every day. God bless her.

Until I find a man that is as easy to love as my dog, I see no reason to date.

Plus, she doesn't snore.

Back to Black.

Life is easier when I dress in black and hate the world. I'm going to go back to that. Good feelings only lead to bad feelings and sick feelings and mad feelings. Fuck good feelings. If I ever go back to thinking good feelings are a good idea, someone out there PLEASE REMIND ME that it's a bad BAD idea! Remind me that it's not worth it and it'll only make the bad worse. And it all goes back to bad anyway. So don't bother with the good. It's not worth it. Stick with black. It'll always be there for you.

When Life Hands You Lemons...

Make a John Daly!

And then move on with your day. 

My super exciting plans for this holiday weekend quickly came to a halt when I realized that I had purchased tickets for the wrong day.  It took me about 4 hours to accept that being blond isn't always a blessing and that I was going to have to take the good with the bad. 

Knowing I had three days off ahead of me my initial plan was to score some weed, watch bad movies and generally feel sorry for myself for the next 72 hours.  Junk food, tissues, sweatpants... had it all planned out.  But then my friends stepped in, as the always do (damn you) and we went to dinner on Friday night, at my favorite place, of course.  This was enough to lift my spirits and changed the tone of the weekend.  That night I decided that the next 72 hours could only go one of two ways... I could either choose to be Couch-potato-stoner-girl or Uber-productive-self-improvement-girl.   By some unforeseen miracle, I chose the latter. 

So, here I am doing homework, cleaning house, taking dogs for daily runs, and starting new crafty projects.  Who knew I had it in me?

One of my favorite people on the planet and I are making a quilt together - though we are 2000 miles apart.  It's from the Craftsy Block of the Month.  We have a little catching up to do....  But today I made January and it was totally fun.


So, with John Daly in hand, I am toughing out this bump in the road and trudging onward!